That Special ‘One’

We see movies and read books about it. Sometimes we hear people’s stories that resemble closely what we have imagined it to be.

Whether there were flashing lights or just ordinary circumstances, people can just know things in their hearts when they meet someone of significance. There is something to be said for when you know you have met someone who is like no other to your heart whatsoever, that one in a million person, even once in a lifetime.

There are handfuls of people who are amazing and unique, and unlike anyone else. In fact, of course, we all are like that.

But there is a difference between meeting someone who is so unique and coming across someone who is so innately uniquely engaged with you deep within. There is a difference between observing someone to be so special and seeing someone matching your heart and soul so naturally and rightly in a way you have never experienced before.

Except perhaps in your imagination, or dreams, or prayers.

But I never in my lifetime thought I would live to see the day where someone who had that experience–I mean truly, not only planets beyond their previous experience, but matching so much what they perceived deep in their heart and life they were supposed to look for and wait for–was willing and able to walk away from it.

I was always told (perhaps mostly by my own brain) that if you ever have that experience, that person, that moment, that you do everything you can to embrace it, to search it out with God and pursue it, even if it takes a long time of effort or slow change of circumstances before it is even possible to develop. I mean, even if the person is not in a place at the time to embrace and pursue the fellowship, they could at least leave a promissory note of confidence by indicating their interest in one day if the other is still available. Right?

But I in fact saw someone recently turn away from what they had said was something like this to them. It blew my mind that they were able to do this.

Perhaps one would call me a dreamer, or a romantic (in the classical or the contemporary sense). I do not know that I prefer to call myself as such. But what I do know is I would like to say I believe God and what He puts in the heart, even if it requires an unusual amount of faith or unorthodox pursuit. And that would stand to include special relationships. Moreover, I understand true, healthy, lasting relationship is a three-way street, where all three parties must be in unanimous agreement for the personal compatibility as well as a unifying direction for the relationship and its future in marriage and service. And it requires a permanent surrender to loyalty and work.

But is not natural chemistry that extra intangible ‘something’, that ‘it’ that cannot be clearly defined, that is able to be the key catalyst for all the rest to be?

So when observing my friend in this situation, I could not help but wonder where they really were in their heart. It caused me to reflect on my own life, past and present, and everything God has used to help me learn about relationship.

I know it is possible to be in a place in life where we literally are not able to receive or even fully see blessings and good gifts. I guess I just imagined that someone who was a one-time pearl or gem might be the exception to how that goes.

In part because I have seen people do crazier things for much worse. People have shirked responsibilities, shed healthy values, set aside good morals, and so much more to have their desired mate. It stood to reason in my mind that if the person was like a good or godly dream come true, this would be a no-brainer.

I was wrong!

I guess I see a clear example of how important it is to first truly search your heart and ensure you really want the right type of person.

Then, when having established that, to spend significant energy changing your life and becoming the right person yourself.

Without these two things, you will in fact miss it, except for the possible grace of a second chance. I say, Why wait? What are you waiting for? Change your life!

Matthew 13:44-46

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”


About Eagles Point

Serving and supporting the needs of people in grace and compassion on an individual and community level.
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4 Responses to That Special ‘One’

  1. Evie says:

    You wrote ‘But is not natural chemistry that extra intangible ‘something’, that ‘it’ that cannot be clearly defined, that is able to be the key catalyst for all the rest to be?’ I understand this question, but have learned the hard way that chemistry cannot be trusted as a sign that we are with a special person who is good for us. Just like a new drug may bring amazing healing, or excellent treatment for a condition, there can be side effects that may prove not worth the risk. Also, as one gets older we realize that while many people continue to change and two can grow apart in unexpected ways, or that someone who seemed perfect for us may deceive us and behave very differently once they have us. Chemistry, that romantic spark that we dearly, and quite naturally, want to trust, to believe in, is not the perfect answer pointing us to our forever person.

    • Eagles Point says:

      I think you make excellent points here and in your other comment. Thank you for sharing. Part of each of our positions may hinge on how we are defining chemistry. It’s such a hard thing to pinpoint to begin with, much less for two to understand it together. I think part of what I’m referring to is connectivity, compatibility and match on an intangible or intrinsic level that goes well beyond feelings, sentimentality, romance, and to some degree even will itself. It’s as if the feelings and will in this case have observed something beyond themselves, and have had the opportunity to respond. However, in my friend’s case, it’s as if they were not in a place in their life to understand the whole of its rarity and what to do with other things that were current in their life. If that makes sense.

      But make no mistake, I fully agree with you in what you’re saying, if I am defining chemistry in how I believe you are defining it. In the way I see chemistry, it provides great presence, but it doesn’t do the work of relationship itself. And, conversely, I believe two people can have a healthy, faithful, even romantic marriage who don’t have a whole lot of natural chemistry. Because at the end of the day, marriage is work and commitment that fosters the maintenance and growth of pure and genuine love that exists between them. Those are of the guards of the heart and marriage sanctuary.

  2. Evie says:

    p.s. I read through your post a second time and it seems that you feel that the person who walked away doesn’t recognize they’ve met the perfect person for them, and therefore needs to make changes in their life. It can actually be the other way around. You may not know the person they walked away from, as well as you think you do. In the past I was involved with two different men who others thought were a match for me, but who I got to know better than anyone else did. Neither was a match, both those ‘perfect’ fellows needed to make changes, but I was not someone who found it necessary to tell others why their perceptions of these fellows was askew.

    • Eagles Point says:

      I think on the outside, the person who was left by the other felt the two of them were right for each other (I’m not sure I would allow them to say ‘perfect’, even though they may be tempted to because that is a very strong word that takes years to prove true). I completely agree that they don’t and even can’t know everything about each other, including the imperfections and even possible harmful things. Again, this may be a matter of semantics, how you and I define the word ‘perfect’ in this case. I know I was accused of having a perfect person for me years ago, where somewhere on the inside I ignored a small voice telling me to hold off. So I fully relate to you on that specific, too.

      In the case I refer to in this post, it isn’t like that. It’s so hard to explain, though, so the only thing I can do is use a little bit of poetic expressivity and hope the point somehow is caught. Unfortunately, my communication in these types of topics may be a little too sweet-like or something to where it sounds like I’m coming more from the point of romance rather than a deeper substance I’m trying to tap and express. Again, if that makes sense!

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. God’s grace be with you.

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