After an unusual amount of conversation with single parents this week from in-person to across the world, stirring the already-present tender area of my heart for this, I have heard parts of stories that I believe don’t get addressed or spoken of enough. So I give this to you, and to all those I know, and don’t know, who are single parents. I want to speak to the things you have shared with me…
First of all, I am so sorry to all of you who have experienced such heartache, hurt, abandonment, loss, abuse, neglect, both personally as well as in the upbringing of your children. I can relate to part but not all of your story. Nonetheless, my heart aches for you. And especially you ladies, it is a horrible reality that so many guys are lazy, either before or after the ring, and so many don’t understand what a real man, a real gentle-man, a servant-leader is. And the ones that may, they don’t have inclination to walk as such.
I wish not to excuse any responsibility on your part in this. But that would be a separate post from this. I simply want to speak directly to your heart now…
You are precious, you are most highly valued, and you are beautiful. That which defines you, who you truly are, is that which lies within you, alongside the grace that Christ poured out for all us in destitute state. You are no less than anyone who has never been married or divorced or brokenhearted.
For those of you who have been forsaken, looked down upon, forgotten, put aside by family, loved ones, or your culture and people, because of what you’ve done and what has been done to you…there is redemption especially and specifically for you. There is a Redeemer who came from as far as the heavens are from the earth to reach His healing hand deep into your soul to rescue and hold and mend your very heart. To dignify you as equal in value and pricelessness as anyone else.
You are a treasure…you always have been, you always will be. The value of a bar of gold does not diminish with time or damage or reshaping. Your brokenness, your tireless efforts to support yourself and your children…you are a miracle of grace even in that. I have nothing but respect and admiration for you. And praise to God for miraculous equipping to do what you do. In all my words, I have no words.
Thank you for what you do…to try…yes, even in your failures, even horrid failure. The lies of people and society telling you that you are no good, you are less than those unwed or without child…they are simply that: lies. You are a survivor, and an overcomer. You have never lost your worth, your importance. If anything, there is cause for extra sentimental value because of all you’ve come through to be where you are today. If anything, an extra touch of grace, of gentleness, of tenderness, of thoughtfulness ought be yours.
May your spirit be open to receive such truths from the Spirit of God Himself. May it fill and flood your heart and soul as a flood, and become you. There is no one in the whole world like you, there never was, and there never will be. You are a precious original. You will always be that dear little girl, that awesome young boy to your Father’s heart. And that is the truth of who you are, not psychological pacification.
May you find that pocket of grace in Him, to live in and breathe the atmosphere of His truth far more than the reality of your world around you and the lies therein. And there are those, even nearer to you than you may think, that understand this, and walk in it. Yes, even in some of those stubborn cultures and subcultures. I know of some personally.
This freedom, these principles, these truths are embodied in the heart and life of Christ, and He came to deal with a very stubborn and strayed people 2000 years ago, but gave such principles that transcended culture and customs of His time…such universal principles that remain as eternal pillars we can hold to as an anchor to our souls.
My heart goes out to you…sister, brother, friend. Thank you for who you are. You are cherished.