[I love it when I get to a frustration that makes me through with old patterns of mentalities and ways within. Just a simple epiphany and realization that seems to hit heart more than head about how to handle something different and better than I have, and seeing myself being able to actually go through with that and do it. It’s an empowering moment where I put my heart’s foot down and say No More while crushing the back of the neck of a demon in the process. Such has been the case with matters of the internal for me.]
The soul of a person…who can know it? Who can understand it?
Well, I guess I’m getting a little better at it over time…
When I have challenging or contrary emotions pass through my soul, I try to let it do just that–pass through. Not truncate, not fight, not resist, necessarily, but in a healthy way, work through them and let it pass through. That way, there is completion, closure, clearance, and some degree of resolution taking place, usually amidst other things such as healing or healthy grieving. And I don’t have to get all bent out of shape if it’s something that I’ve been dealing with for a long time or something that should be elementary or easy, but isn’t. It’s part of being a human, and it’s okay.
The better I get at this, while minimizing self-infliction, the more efficient internal healing, growth, steadying, and refreshing is able to take place.
Special insert: here’s a shortlist of self-infliction indictments I’ve been charged with in God’s court of law in my life: re-condemning after having been forgiven by God, putting myself down in various ways, discouraging myself from accepting that I’m loved by God, believing that I’m not anything special or valuable. (Of course, I was found guilty every time, being sentenced to incarceration in God’s love.)
To be honest with myself, there’s a difference between having an emotion that is painful passing through and compounding or adding layers of negativity to any given emotion that is passing through. I know the difference. I know when I’m doing more than just observing and grieving the current emotion I’m trying to work through. I know when I’m talking to myself negatively in thought or feeling instead of just feeling the hurt or pain itself for a healthy while.
And I know how important it is, at some point, to make an altar with every grieving…wherein, at some point, I must look to God in my heart and acknowledge my need of His healing hand, and invite Him to work.
What is the altar in this circumstance, really? It’s simply placing my wounded heart on His operating table while it’s open, exposed, vulnerable…conditions perfect for open heart surgery.
So, we can trust the process of healing within just as we do with physical healing after having sustained injuries. God has embedded a natural mending capacity in our soul as much as He has our body. But, in both cases, we naturally have to go to the Doctor, go through therapy and rehab, and follow guidelines at home as to what we should and should not do until stronger.
It’s generally common sense in each case, internal or external. We simply disregard or discredit the value or importance of handling the healing process well when it’s internal. We are negligent out of impatience or sometimes a little arrogance. But we don’t have to continue in that.
So, let’s not. Let’s set a new standard. Let’s take a fresh approach. There’s a way to care for ourselves in an non-sadistic, non-self-centered way. (English teachers, I know words can’t be double-hyphenated, so how do I write that one out?) 🙂
Peace and grace to you. May you perceive deep within that place where you can come to the foot of the Cross and lay down your burdens and truly rest.