One of the most frustrating and most comforting facts of this life is the understanding of the cost of living on this planet.
All too many times, we can come to small or large places of inadequacy, insecurity, severe hurt, deep frustration, fear of the known or the unknown, and hopelessness. And through it all, there is a tendency in our human nature to inquire, and often with a bend to deeply question with cynicism, skepticism or other forms of doubt.
For those who seek or know God, some if not much of that line of interrogation may be redirected towards Him.
Why did He delegate so much to us just so that we could mess things up for ourselves and others, where ancestors and innocent people around us have to pay for others’ sin and mistakes? Why are we so infinitely small yet so prominently featured in our universe? Why do we yet have so few pieces to the scientific puzzle of creation and existence? What is the fabric of the soul?
There is a limit to what we are even capable of really grasping and understanding. That can be a little relieving, if we think about it for a moment. We can resign to the fact that we are not going to fully get it on this side. There will be questions without apparent answers. There will be unexplainable circumstances. There will be pain. It is going to be a little like this from time to time. If you are experiencing this, you are not alone, not in the least. There are so many that have read this or will read it that have felt what you feel, besides the endless amount of people in your world and just beyond your reach that have this. Someone understands, right now. They are feeling it, too.
Fortunately, God seems to not only understand, but there seems to be a breadth to Him, rather an infinicy, if you will, that is able to absorb this out of the heart that has intention to know or attempt to hold to Him. And He is ever patient with the one who is not at that place just yet.
I hope you do not always feel like less of a person, or Christian, or seeker of God, or wherever you find yourself in your journey, when you have questions and doubts. God promises to be freely approached through the sacrifice of the Cross, and that means even if we have doubts or questions that need expressed or quelled. He has grand desire as a Good and Wonderful Father for us to come to Him and sit on His lap and ask Him about Him, life, creation, the end, our temporal condition, anything.
It is sort of like when we were a child. When we were afraid, most of us were fortunate to be able to go to mommy and daddy’s room and tell them our fears. And we even felt that fear initially when in the room telling them. But there was something that happened in that time of approaching them, telling them how we felt, and then just absorbing that need to be embraced by running to their arms and letting them hold us. They never necessarily had to go in the other room and actually run the boogie man off. We just needed them to hold us until it was all better. Inside.
Same with God.
Sometimes are easier than others, but this is something we can allow ourselves to do with Him. Even if for a moment. One awesome thing about Him is that He does not fall off His throne in amazement when we have those fears or questions. His heart smiles broadens and His arms open for us to sit on His lap and pour out our hearts, or perhaps just sit quietly. And somehow, He is able to sort of take it from there.