The following are principles universal to multiple areas of life, including any form of leadership, social standing, relationship, or other areas of life pertaining to people interaction.
You can never lead anyone you are afraid to lose.
Doing anything out of fear is a bad foundation and invites disaster, but especially in the area of leading people or developing close relationships with individuals (best friends, intimate friends). If you are too afraid to lose them, that indicates codependency, as well as a foundation based on the need to coddle (which becomes smothering in time) and compromise of core values (which becomes a hovering suffocation of control over the other over time), if you and the other are going to try to make the relationship work and last (which is not how a healthy relationship develops).
Those you have manipulated or coddled to follow or come alongside you, or who you have allowed to manipulate you by what they bring, are now idols if you are not able to stand for who you are or address issues and challenge them (as a pastor or boss). If you have to compromise core values to keep someone’s tithes or attendance, or their friendship, you have an idol and you are operating in fear and self-imposed control. You are not operating healthily as a leader.
Many people left Jesus after He boldly declared things that people misunderstood or refused to connect with. As much as His heart was broken over the ones of those that would never come to Him again in their own time, He is a man and leader had plenty enough self-worth and confidence as a leader not to run after them out of fear and anxiety. Instead, He even turned to His disciples and asked them if any of them wanted to leave as well.
We can easily be too afraid to tell the truth or confront issues head-on. So we dismiss them or run from the situations wherein they lie, until we have finally been put in a corner by our feelings and convictions, and we lash out in anxiety, which becomes very counterproductive. We would do best to be confident in who we are and in God individually first, so we can have a balanced stability in our values and lead with confidence. Of course, may we always emphasize a temperance of humility and gentleness as the context of all we do.