This could easily be about as long a post as any of mine, but I’m going to keep this very concise…at least for now. I have a passionate hatred for abuse or controlling behavior over vulnerable people, but especially between a man and a woman. And I understand how hard it is to step away from an abusive situation because of the emotional bond, the often genuine love from the abused, or other types of insufficiencies or entrapments. But there has to be a point of will and determination, and faith for God to help make a way.
Here are some limited scenarios that even shades of these things need to be addressed immediately with your partner, if you see these behaviors or tendencies. Don’t wait. If he (or she) truly respects and loves you, they will pay attention and work with you to address these things.
If they don’t, then, no offense, but they are lazy and selfish, and it’s not a form of true love that they have in their heart for you–they don’t respect themselves, so they certainly will struggle with dignity for you.
Here is an abridged sample of warning signs that make for a controlling, abusive or otherwise exploitative relationship, from which you must find a way to protect yourself.
DOES YOUR PARTNER…
Embarrass you in front of family or friends, whether serious or simply excessive joking?
Drive your family or friends away, either with poor attitude and behavior, or by overbearingly shielding or restricting communication?
Curse or yell at you, call you names or put you down?
Use intimidation or threats to get you to do what he/she wants?
Tell you that you are nothing without them?
Use manipulative self-loathing by inordinately putting themselves down, expressing their desperate need of you, and even threatening to harm themselves if you back away?
Grab, push, pinch, shove, slap, choke, punch, kick, bite, spank, scratch, burn or restrain you in any way physically?
Throw objects or break your possessions, or threaten to do so?
Threaten the safety of children or pets?
Behave jealously, accusing you of flirting or cheating?
Withhold approval, appreciation or affection as punishment?
Control your access to money and transportation?
Use alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
Blame you for how they feel or act?
Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do?
…if any of these situations describe yours, GET HELP OR GET OUT! NOW!
Here is a very helpful resource on to manage breaking off from an abusive relationship:
Remember, abuse does NOT have to be only physical or sexual in nature. Mental and emotional abuse are JUST as serious and to be taken just as seriously–by you, the abused, and by your friends and loved ones!